And so I arrive at the end of my first full month of Christmas movie bingeing and my last Hallmark movie. They’ve been a mixed bag, ranging from cheap, throwaway rubbish, to inspired works of creative cleverness. I’ve been going into each film with next to zero knowledge of what I’m about to witness, so it’s with excitement and trepidation that I click ‘play’ on Pete’s Christmas, a 2013 effort with a pretty starry cast. I needn’t have worried – through either sheer luck or a little more of that Christmas magic, this one emerges as far and away the best of the bunch.
Talented Zachary Gordon is Pete, a tween who is having a spectacularly sucky Christmas. The tree falls on him, he gets no presents and then gets totally wiped out at the big neighbourhood football game. To make things worse, his own grandad (Bruce Dern) bets against him, while dad just lost his job, meaning the family has to go for Christmas dinner at a shoddy diner where they all get food poisoning. Pete’s glad when the day is over, but is confused when he wakes next day and he appears to be living Christmas all over again. That’s right – it’s a Hallmark Christmas Groundhog Day…for kids!
After the seriousness of Christmas Magic, this film is just the right mix of festive loveliness and absurd humour I need right now. While the opening is filled with satisfying Christmas imagery, all beautiful lights an snowy streets, things quickly segue into very recognisable family squabbling. Pete is a middle child and the way he constantly falls out with his parents and brothers feels very truthful. Christmas is prime family time, yes, but when you’re forced to hang out with your constantly teasing brothers all day, it can be hard work. As the youngest of three brothers, I can identify. Sadly, I also relate to the part where Gramps calls the boys all by the wrong names.
The film takes its time, comically piling on the misery for poor Pete before the time-repeat craziness kicks in. His is the sort of cringey family that goes carolling together, leaving him mortified. He also keeps embarrassing himself in front of his cute new neighbour Katie (Bailee Madison).
The Groundhog Day formula has been much imitated, but is fantastic when done right. Here, it’s fun to watch Pete try to use the time anomaly to his advantage – learning every play in the big game, avoiding embarrassment in front of the girl – before realising he should use it to fix this crappy Christmas for everyone, not just himself. It’s sweet, as are the numerous scenes where Pete and Katie flirt awkwardly in that ‘aww shucks’ adorable pre-teen way.
This film is a belter, and an unexpected but smashing way to end my month-long Hallmark odyssey. I can see why these films are so popular – they're mostly pure escapism, often nonsensical, but reassuringly well-meaning. There’s little or no room in Hallmark-land for negativity or ill feeling and happy endings are always guaranteed.
I’d assumed that these would all be cheesy romance films, so I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the diverse range of stories I’ve encountered, from tales about race-relations, to supernatural fantasy, to good old Santa sagas. The quality varies wildly, but I’ve appreciated that these films always have their heart in the right place. Hallmark film-makers are aware we don’t live in a perfect world, but attempt to create an idealistic little haven for us to escape into whenever we’re feeling down. I, for one, have been happy to visit. Though, to be honest, you can definitely have too much of a good thing.
Like the scientists said, watching Christmas movies outside of the festive season, though a little odd, can absolutely raise your spirits. More often than not, these stories are uplifting and unashamedly mawkish. However, after watching a lot of them in close proximity, the blueprint that most of them stick to becomes too obvious and tiresome, leading to cynicism. In short, overdosing on Hallmark films can make you sick of them. Just as well, then, that they’re smart enough to mess with the recipe a little every now and then.
January is always a tough, grey, horrible month, and 2021’s been no different, with lockdowns and riots and whatnot. I’ve been glad to have a little bit of festive magic to take my mind off it all and, to be honest, I’ve already noticed the benefits of watching these films. There’s been days where I’ve woken up feeling dejected and morose and, even when the movies have been dross (I’m looking at you, The Santa Incident), I’ve still always come away feeling a little happier than I did going in. There’s a certain perverse joy to be had in attempting to keep the Christmas candle burning long into the dark, depressing months where mistletoe and mulled wine are normally a distant memory.
There’s also something strangely exhilarating about knowing you’re doing something weird, something unique that nobody else is doing. I also can’t deny that it’s been exciting having a secret. I have told literally no-one that I’m doing this. The longer it’s gone on, the harder it’s been to tell anyone what I’m up to including my own loving wife. On one hand, I’m worried that anyone I tell about this won’t understand or, worse, assume I’ve gone quite, quite mad. On the other hand, it also feels cool and clandestine to have a crazy secret. I feel quite proud that, so far, I’ve managed to live pretty much 24/7 under the same roof as someone who has had no idea that I’ve watched a jolly yuletide film every day right under her lovely little nose. I may just keep this to myself a while longer, just for a laugh, to see how long it takes anyone to notice. Tee hee!
And so, with Hallmark successfully completed as the Phase One of this cinematic odyssey, I wait to see what my fate will be for Phase Two…
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