Krampus 2: The Devil Returns from 2016 offers a welcome change of gear, though this is definitely not be a sequel to the splendid 2015 horror-comedy Krampus but a cheekily-titled follow-up to cruddy direct-to-video effort Krampus: The Christmas Devil from 2013. I have not seen The Christmas Devil but, on the strength of this misfire, I won't be bothering.
This one from writer/director Jason Hull is amateurish horror that's lacklustre in every department, with a savage mean streak that means it can't even be considered 'so bad it's good.' This is just nasty, poorly made, confusing trash that leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Starring a cast of unknowns, this has the feel of a cheapie, student-made effort - to be honest, it reminds me of the terrible horror film that I made at Uni many moons ago. That involved gallons of fake blood, loads of booze and pissing about in the woods. Sure, it was crap but at least we weren’t pretending to be making a professional film worthy of release. This one feels like a film made by people who dearly love gory, grimy horror but have no idea of what makes a good one work.
So, The Devil Returns is set five years after the allegedly chilling events of part one, which I assume followed the story of moody, scowling dude Jeremy Duffin (A.J. Leslie), whose wife and child have been killed or abducted or something by the mythical Krampus. Jeremy’s now living at some remote house out in the snowy wilderness where some cops track him down to ask for his help. “It’s started again”, is all he’s told but Jeremy knows what that means - it’s on.
We know something awful has happened due to the pre-credits scene where two obnoxious pre-teens break into a creepy old house and are confronted by a shadowy figure in a Santa suit. It’s a thoroughly un-scary opening that confuses more than it frightens. What happened? Who were those kids? Why should we care?
Anyway, the hunt is on but all that takes second stage to a plot about a beardy gangster biker guy named Stuart (R.A. Mihailoff) who wants Duffin dead for something that went down in part one. There’s also a whole thing about a scabby, washed-out looking Santa (Paul Fern) who controls the Krampus and keeps calling him “brother”. This smelly vagrant is apparently the real Santa and straight up despises naughty kids. He’s also foul-mouthed and decidedly unpleasant, as evidenced by the kids he keeps chained up in his basement so he can slap them about. I can’t see this sort of stuff being anyone’s idea of a good time.
The Krampus creature is really shit looking, this time just some guy in a cheap mask who growls and sometimes talks in a funny voice. He doesn’t do much for allegedly being the star of the film and the poor beast gets chewed out by Santa so much that he just seems pathetic.
It’s a straight up bad film with a giggle-worthy girl-on-girl fight scene featuring a combatant who seems to have been cast based purely on the size of her breasts. The dialogue is risible too, with such choice lines as “My mom taught me never to hit anything you wouldn’t fuck”. I’m not sure what that means but it sure ain’t Christmassy. It might be free but that doesn’t mean you need to watch this crap.
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