2017's El Camino Christmas tries to be a lot of different things at once but ends up very underwhelming. This tale of a mysterious stranger caught up in a crazy liquor store shootout tries to be a quirky crime comedy with a festive twist but doesn't try hard enough. Tonally it's all over the place, as if director David E. Talbert can't decide if he wants his movie to be funny, moving or an action-packed romp. It's not a terrible film, just another instantly forgettable one.
It certainly has a roster of familiar faces to reel the casual Netflix viewer in, like Tim Allen, Dax Shepard and Kurtwood Smith but there's nothing very fresh about it, nor is it particularly Christmassy. Now that's a crime.
Handsome but drab Luke Grimes is Eric, visiting the sleepy Nevada town of El Camino in the run-up to Christmas, looking for his long-lost dad. He tries to check into a motel using an expired credit card, arousing the suspicions of Shepard's front desk clerk Billy - who also happens to be an impetuous police deputy.
Billy and his hard-drinkin', nihilistic asshole partner Cal (Vincent D'onofrio) keep tabs on Eric and, after spotting him buying a suspicious amount of drain-cleaner, haul his ass in under suspicion of making crystal meth. Of course, it's all a big misunderstanding with Eric pleading that he was just trying to unblock the motel crapper. He's quizzed on why the hell he'd do that instead of getting the staff to do it. This is never explained, nor are the credit cards - it's that sort of film, full of convenient plot devices and random coincidences. There's also very little in the way of characterisation to make you give a damn about these guys when their lives are in danger.
While all this is going on, Eric hooks up with Tim Allen's drunken waster who may or may not be his dad. It's cool to see usually wholesome Allen play a no-good deadbeat but he feels like he's coasting here and the film never allows him to be truly despicable.
All of this culminates in Eric being pursued by ruthless dick Carl, who's determined to bust him without any actual evidence. We get a slightly entertaining car chase before Eric finds himself holed up in the liquor store with Carl, his dad and some other random supporting characters.
The cops surround the place, bullets fly, there are revelations and people die. You'll be hard pressed to give a damn about any of it. The dramatic scenes feel like they're striving for a resonance that the film doesn't earn and the juicy epiphanies of the film's climax don't exactly come as much of a surprise. Also - a film featuring a troubled, mute child at Christmas? You can bet your baubles that after one afternoon with our handsome hero, that kid will be singing like a canary.
Oh yeah, Jessica Alba also shows up for a few short scenes as a news reporter, doesn't accomplish much and leaves me wondering why on earth she's even in this.
El Camino Christmas feels like a big bag of disparate movie cliches all mixed up in a big pot with just the tiniest sprinkling of yuletide fairy dust. It's distinctive amongst Netflix's festive movie output in that it's rated '15' and actually features some hard violence and swear words but it's just all too uninspired to recommend. "Meh"-rry Christmas?
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